I lost my Nan about 4 months ago.
My Nan wasn’t like any Nan — she was something really special. I always went to her if I had a problem. I knew that she would always there to listen and would always had time for me.
She passed away in the afternoon one day. My parents told me when I got home from school and it’s by far one of the worst moments in my life. It just seemed to go downhill from there.
My way of grieving was to continue as if nothing had happened. I didn’t let myself cry and I definitely didn’t let my emotions out like I needed to. Telling my friends about my Nan was easy though — I went for honesty and they were really supportive and understanding. I made sure, though, that I only told the people that I knew cared about me.
My Nan was cremated so we had a beautiful service to remember her life and since she was cremated we planned to spread her ashes. We travelled back to the place where she spent a large proportion of her life; a place she had told me so many stories about. When we arrived, we started by spreading her ashes then my granddad took us round and showed us many places that my Nan was very fond of. It was lovely to see.
I have decided to write a book and I have called it ‘Dealing with Death’. I cannot say I see it going anywhere but it really helps to put down how I feel on paper even if no-one is ever going to read it. This is also an ongoing project as I do not think I am done grieving and I don’t know if I ever will be. I just hope that I will grow to accept it one day.
My advice has to be — do not think that it will not affect you. It obviously makes you sad but this experience has also truly changed me. I have become stronger and started to believe in myself more. It’s motivated me to continue trying to achieve what I want to do. My Nan always told me I could and now I am starting to believe her and I hope that I make her proud.
Please feel free to get in touch if you have any questions as I am happy to be honest and I am here if anyone needs anyone to talk to as even though friends may be understanding, no-one had quite been through it so it wasn’t quite what I needed. So you may comment anything you want below.