I’ve talked about the “new normal” a couple of times on the site and to me it makes sense. Especially because it helps take away the pressure of of having to get back to how everything was.
When you lose someone, nothing ever goes back to normal. But, along the way, you start to feel okay about the way things now are. I say along the way because the time it takes varies. I remember when I was 12 years old (two years after I lost my mom) and I would still cry before going to school because things felt everything but okay for me.
It’s been exactly 6 months and 5 days since my grandmother passed away and I’m starting to find happy. My days are no longer weighed by how many times I cried or felt extraordinarily down, now it’s about how many good moments I had during a single day.
The guilt of this? It’s real.
My life feeling “right” is really, really scary. For me, it’s a lot like I’m waiting for the other shoe to drop. I have to train myself to not feel guilty for moving on or for being happy. My grandmother and mom would want me to be happy. They’d want me to enjoy the moments I’m blessed to be having.
Sometimes saying it aloud (or writing it down for the world to see) helps you convince yourself that feeling like life is right again isn’t a bad thing.
Photo: WeHeartIt
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