Dear Future Boyfriend,
I’m glad you found my resume interesting, but please put it away. You can search my Facebook profile, and Google me if you want. You won’t find a picture of me with my mom dating past October 19, 2013. You won’t find a picture of me with my dad.
Don’t let these things freak you out. I’m much cooler than a piece of paper and an album of Facebook profile pictures.
I’ll just go ahead and tell you how this “dating” thing is going to happen. On date 3, it’ll come out that I lost my mom about a year and a half ago. I’ll say it casually and quickly move on to ask about your siblings and childhood pets. You’ll look a little stunned that I brought it up so nonchalantly and changed the subject before you could figure out how to respond. You’re going to think, “Damn. That’s a heavy blow to her, I wonder if she’s moved on from it. I wonder if she’s sad a lot. Maybe she isn’t who I want to date.”
And then you’ll be curious about where my dad is, because I’ll talk about how I boiled down all of my belongings to four suitcases and moved across the country for “an adventure.” I’ll tell you that when I was 17, I decided that our relationship was toxic and I told him to give me some room. I haven’t contacted him since. You’ll think, “Not only is she sad, but she probably has daddy issues. This probably isn’t a good combination. She could be unstable. ”
But then, I’ll tell you about how I’m 22, graduated a 4 year university in only 3 years, paid off all my student loans within a year of graduating. I’ll tell you about how I decided to see the world and travel 13 different countries and then moved across my own. I’ll tell you about how I decided to work an unfulfilling part time job that I was overqualified for because I wanted to really figure out what I was passionate about. And how once I figured that out, I quit the other job. I’ll tell you that I achieved most of my goals for post-grad life within six months.
You’ll see that I’m stable and I’m strong and I’m awesome.
We’ll start dating, but you’ll still be nervous about if I’m stable, but you also might be a little intimidated by this point. And then, I’ll text you and tell you to pack a bag because we’re going to go to Canada today. Neither of us has ever been and it’ll cost us the gas equivalent of two movie tickets and dinner. Life is too short to do the same boring thing over again and we’ve already seen three movies together.
And then, you’ll come to me complaining about your job and how unfulfilling it is. I’ll tell you to quit. I’ll ask you why you would stay in a job that makes your life miserable, and you’ll respond with “I don’t know.” I’ll tell you that you could be anything you want to. Regardless of the fact that we’re past the age of 10.
And then, you’ll come to me worried about your budget. I’ll tell you that you can’t take it with you, so use it to make memories (within reason).
And then, I’ll come to you.
It probably won’t happen often since I’ve cultivated a pretty good strain of independence. But sometimes, a girl just needs someone else to cover her with a heavy blanket and let her cry. Only this girl, the one with the daddy issues and dead mom, will be crying because I landed a new promotion at work and I can’t tell my mom about it. Or because I think I might be falling for you, and I can’t ask my mom if I should let the fall happen.
I won’t be like the girls you’ve dated in the past who have cried over how you forgot the 4 month and 2 week anniversary, or because they spilled wine all over their new rug. I won’t be crying about any of that because those little things don’t ruin my mood; at least, not anymore. So, when I do come to you crying and you don’t know what to say, don’t try. Just sit on the couch with me.
And then, you’ll realize that dating a girl with a messed up resume means they’ll put value on different aspects of life because they realize how fleeting everything about relationships and life really is. Just try it out, I bet you’ll find yourself wanting another interview with her, regardless of how qualified or unqualified her resume may seem.