It’s going to happen. That inevitable moment when you meet someone new and they ask, “so what about your parents? Are you close?” Your mind stalls for a minute. What do you say? Do you only mention the living parent and hope the person doesn’t notice? Do you just say “yes” and quickly change the subject? Or do you bite the bullet and risk seeing that look of shock mixed with sympathy and say that one, or possibly even both, of your parents had died?
Telling someone you just met that you lost a parent is uncomfortable and awkward. You hardly know this person yet you’re about to tell them about the hardest and most personal moment of your life. There have been a few times when I simply avoid having to bring it up, but if I know the person is someone I’m going to see often, I tell the truth. The conversation usually goes a little like this:
Me: “My dad actually died a few years ago…”
Other Person: “Oh, wow. I’m so sorry.”
Me: “Yeah, thanks.”
A few seconds of awkward silence follows until a new subject is brought up. In my experience, only a few have continued with questions about how or exactly when. Once the moment’s over, however, you will be left thinking in the back of your mind about the death of your parent. You will probably hide the sudden sense of grief you’re feeling and continue the conversation.
These instances are just some examples of times when you’re instantly reminded of your loss. It’s not as if you had somehow forgotten, but your daily thoughts are not always focused on it. Luckily, in these moments, you’re not alone to be left with your thoughts. Your mind is forced to move on. It’s in these moments that you realize your loss is not entirely crippling.
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