After someone dies you teeter between “I need to get as far away from this as possible” to “There’s absolutely no way I can move from here.” For many, this leads to falling into a slump that makes it very hard to leave the house.
If you’re having trouble finding the energy to get out of bed, get dressed and leave your house – you are not alone. I’ve been there. Every other person who has contributed to this site has been there. Sometimes it’s not as blatant as not wanting to get dressed for the day, it’s more subtle like, “I’m dressed but maybe I’ll just stay in and do something at home.”
For a long time, I fell victim to the latter. I would get up, get dressed and sit at my desk at home. I wouldn’t actually leave the house unless I absolutely had to. It wasn’t until a new coffee shop opened up a few blocks from my apartment that I realized I’d been stuck at home for way too long.
We all need time to grieve, but we also all need some kind of contact with the outside world in order to do so. Here are 4 ways to “trick” yourself to get out of the house even when you really don’t want to:
(1) Go for a walk
Even a few minutes in the sun and breathing in some fresh air can make a huge difference.
(2) Bribe yourself with something you love to do
Have a thing for ice cream or a Starbucks Pumpkin Spice Latte? Reward yourself for getting out of the house by treating yourself to something sweet.
(3) Make plans that you know you can’t break, with someone you want to spend time with
For a long time after I lost my grandmother I could only hang out with specific friends, so I would plan dates with them and keep myself accountable. They were few and far between, but they made the difference in helping me get out of the house.
(4) Ask for help.
If the need to stay in bed is so overbearing that it’s actually scary than do not hesitate to ask an adult for help. You can get through this, but you need to be honest with what you’re dealing with. (I’m living proof.)
How will you be getting out of the house this weekend?
