Over the last year the biggest lesson I’ve learned is that no matter what else is happening in my life I have to be able to be honest with myself.
I’ve found that after I lost my grandmother, I was more likely to experience anxiety. The feeling of anxiety is not a feeling I was familiar with. The first time I ever had an anxiety attack it was overwhelming to the point that I was close to passing out. Afterwards I felt completely spent.
At that point, I realized that something was off and after a lot of trial and error, I found that there were small signs that would let me know that anxiety was lurking, but because I was resistant to believe that it was happening to me I would ignore them.
Once I came to terms that I had to accept myself for who I was, anxiety and all, the attacks became few and far between.
I’m not out of the woods, just a few weeks ago I felt so much anxiety that it kept me up most of the night. I was ready for it though, I knew how to distract myself and what would calm my racing heart. I was scared, but I was prepared. Honestly, it’s more than I can ask for.
