3 years ago when I was 18 I lost my grandfather.
When I was a baby I had my first experience with loss — I lost my other grandfather.
When I lost my grandfather, I was already in a bad place because I had failed to get into college. Losing him, at the end of 2012, closed off that year as a bad one. We were so close.
It was November 4th, 2012. A strange hot morning for November. I woke up hearing noises from the living room. In response, I closed my bedroom door. It took just a few minutes for my mom to open it and tell me the heartbreaking news.
It took me a minute to understand..
Here are my answers to some questions:
How did you tell your friends that you lost a loved one?
I didn’t have the courage to tell them right away. They knew that my grandpa was at the hospital. Everyone was away because they were in to college. I decided to finally text them after the funeral. They sent their condolences and asked me if I was fine. They knew and I knew that that’s the best they could do.
Have you turned your grief into something positive, like a blog, song, etc?
My loss motivated me to study more for my finals so that I could apply to college for the following fall. Now I’m a second year student majoring in mechanical engineering. I also channeled my grief into photography.
What’s the best piece of advice you got after losing your loved one?
It was actually coming from watching the Harry Potter movies again. In the last one Dumbledore says to Harry:” Do not pity the dead, Harry. Pity the living, and, above all those who live without love …”
That made me realize I don’t have to feel sorry for my grandfather because I know he was loved.
Do you do anything special to celebrate your loved one’s life?
My grandfather always liked to volunteer, so in his memory we donate supplies to the local hospital where he spent his last week. We celebrate his life by giving to others in need.
Do you want to tell the story of your loved one’s life?
My grandfather’s name was John, he was 91 years old. He had 3 kids and 7 grandchildren. After marrying my grandmother, they moved to Australia to find work. There they started their family –my mother and my 2 aunts. In Australia he owned a fish and chip store. They came back to Greece to retire. He used to plant vegetables, fruit trees and flowers in our garden. In the last years of his life he couldn’t move much, so he used to sit in our yard, waving at our neighbors and talking to them. Everyone in the neighborhood loved him. He was very kind. He preferred to starve rather to see one of his kids starve.
What’s the worst thing someone told you after losing your loved one?
If you could go back to when you just lost your loved one, what would you tell yourself?
