I lost my Nan about 4 months ago.
My Nan wasn’t like any Nan — she was something really special. I always went to her if I had a problem. I knew that she would always there to listen and would always had time for me.
She passed away in the afternoon one day. My parents told me when I got home from school and it’s by far one of the worst moments in my life. It just seemed to go downhill from there.
My way of grieving was to continue as if nothing had happened. I didn’t let myself cry and I definitely didn’t let my emotions out like I needed to. Telling my friends about my Nan was easy though — I went for honesty and they were really supportive and understanding. I made sure, though, that I only told the people that I knew cared about me.
My Nan was cremated so we had a beautiful service to remember her life and since she was cremated we planned to spread her ashes. We travelled back to the place where she spent a large proportion of her life; a place she had told me so many stories about. When we arrived, we started by spreading her ashes then my granddad took us round and showed us many places that my Nan was very fond of. It was lovely to see.
I have decided to write a book and I have called it ‘Dealing with Death’. I cannot say I see it going anywhere but it really helps to put down how I feel on paper even if no-one is ever going to read it. This is also an ongoing project as I do not think I am done grieving and I don’t know if I ever will be. I just hope that I will grow to accept it one day.
My advice has to be — do not think that it will not affect you. It obviously makes you sad but this experience has also truly changed me. I have become stronger and started to believe in myself more. It’s motivated me to continue trying to achieve what I want to do. My Nan always told me I could and now I am starting to believe her and I hope that I make her proud.
Please feel free to get in touch if you have any questions as I am happy to be honest and I am here if anyone needs anyone to talk to as even though friends may be understanding, no-one had quite been through it so it wasn’t quite what I needed. So you may comment anything you want below.
Reading this article I can really relate to yours and Nans relationship because I have an extremely close relationship with my Grandpa. We recently found out my grandpa was terminally ill. My parents and brother are extremely emotional about it so i try to be strong for them at home, but I notice when I’m around my friends I get angry and annoying very easily. When I talk to my friends about they all say ” well, everyone loses their grandparents eventually” and then the topic is changed. It’s also getting close to exam time and i feel like so much is happening, and I can focus, and soon I’m going to break. How do I handle my time and emotions healthily?
I’m really sorry to hear that! I hope that you can find at least one friend that will listen and if not, please feel free to contact me! I am happy to be here for you as I do understand what it feels like. All grandparents may pass but that doesn’t mean that you have to be ok with it and it is healthy for you to be angry right now. Time wise, you may find it difficult to concentrate so maybe keep time for you to do something you enjoy like a hobby or maybe try meditation or yoga in order to de-stress you.
I’m really sorry but hope you do allow yourself to be sad xxx
Thank you so much for replying to me Emily, you have no idea how much it means to me to hear about someone who has gone threw the same experience as me! i really appreciate your advice!
Hey, one of my best friends has just lost of of her close family members, I really want to help and support her but I don’t really know how, she’s grieving and is always moody and ignoring me, I still want to be there for her but I don’t know what I can do to still be there for her even though she keeps ignoring me, have you any tips? It would be much appreciated Thank you xx
Hi,
I think it is really sweet of you to want to help your friend out but what she is going through is really difficult for her right now. All I can say is just make sure you are there for her because she will not be angry for ages and will definitely need a supportive friend like you! Also don’t take it to heart when they are angry as they don’t mean to be! X