To my dearest grandchildren,
Please try not to cry, for I know the only reason why you are reading this is because I am no longer with you. I died thinking about you and everyone good in my life.
I want you to know something. When I was 15 your, great, great grandfather passed from a brain tumour. It was 2 weeks before Christmas. Christmas was hard that year and so was every other Christmas without him.
Life was stressful too, with school pressuring me to get good grades but there was one person that I thought about every day. His name was Michael, your great great grandfather.
Michael was a loving man with the kindest, warmest heart you could ever imagine. Every obstacle he faced he climbed with immense courage and determination.
Everything he did, he did for his family. It’s the reason I’m writing this letter. I am doing this for you. I don’t know what I’ll be like when I’m older (because I am still only 15) but I hope I could be half the man he was.
He was and still is the most important man in my life. I didn’t know what to do with myself. I became depressed and stayed in bed until dinner was put on the table. I had nothing else to do and couldn’t think about anything else other than walking into the funeral, everyone staring at me and collapsing on the floor.
Please know, as hard as it might be now, you will stop thinking about me every second. Every second will become every ten minutes and before you know it I will be a daily reminder that we will be together soon enough. It might be many years, but I can wait and so can you.
Celebrate my life. Your natural instinct is to cry, but choose to laugh and smile at the humorous and delightful memories we have together. Loosing my grandfather was hard but soon enough I came to realise I should reminisce on the happy and bright 15 years we had together.
Please don’t:
- Stay in bed for 2 weeks straight not talking to your own family, ignoring everything they say
- Think about the sad days
- Finally, don’t hurt yourself just because I’m gone. I did and I realise now that it was not necessary.
It may seem like it’s the the only option to release the pain and mourning but it isn’t. Talk to mum or dad. Say what you truly feel.
I am your grandmother not was. I love you not loved you. I am still here not was. I will always be here.
You may not see me all the time, I may go and chat to my friends of whom I haven’t seen in 50 years in a cute little cafe somewhere in the sky but I will always be back. Sometimes I like to look up to the sky, just when the sun comes through the clouds, and say “hello grandpa. How are you today?. Just to feel like I could still talk to him.
So this is the final part of my letter and I have nothing much left to say. I need to say how much I love you and how much I miss you while I’m up here. I’ll see you again soon and maybe we could go to that cafe I was talking about?
Lots of love,
Grandma Olive
