In my mind, grief is something you will never shake if you’ve lost someone. We go through stages. Some may be significantly less obvious than others, but like being hurt or heartbroken, when one experiences a loss of any kind, you will always grieve it.
I know myself well enough to make this statement — I’ve gone through enough loss for a 25-year-old. Yep, I’ve had enough.
Recently I experienced another small loss, but a loss none-the-less. I had my wallet stolen out of my purse while having lunch with family last weekend. Petty? Sure. I thought so for a minute. After crying about it I came to the conclusion that it was petty, especially compared to my past loss.
I started to dissect what was occurring in my brain.
I was experiencing all of the stages of loss that were familiar to me: panic, worry, heartbreak disappointment.
All these emotions are real. Although the situation was NOTHING close to what loss I’ve experienced in the past, it was real for me in that moment.
Although on a radically smaller scale, there were some aspects that were similar to losing my parents. I had to rebuild my financial life. Calling card companies, finding a way home with no money, etc. This reminded me of an important lesson someone once taught me.
They said “Just because you’ve been through hell and back, doesn’t mean you aren’t going to experience any more painful moments.”
They were right. I am a perfectionist, and I want to do everything in my power to ensure that I will never be hurt or taken advantage of. I have to remind myself that this is not possible.
The next day, I woke up devastated from the days events before but realized, “You know what, I am okay.”
No matter what big or small losses I WILL face in the future, I will be okay.
Once I gave up my quest to be perfect, I began to breathe more deeply and live more fully. Loss, like joy, is inevitable,so remember to keep breathing and learning.