There are a million different ways to cope with your loss that people are going to suggest. The best ways I’ve found to cope with my loss are things that make me happy and impact others positively.
My hobbies, such as painting and horseback riding, help bring me to the best state of mind. These activities bring me to a happy, peaceful place which gives me the most control over my (generally) uncontrollable emotions that are exposed during the grief I experience.
On a larger level, something that recently has helped me cope with my loss is my career choice. I’m currently in college in a Police Foundations program. I am unsure of what type of law enforcement I will begin my career with or what path it will take me down, but I hope in the future that I will eventually become a police officer. I have many reasons as to why I’ve chosen to take this career path, however my motivation to choice this career is the most meaningful.
It wasn’t until a few weeks into class that a close friend asked me if I was pursuing this career due my loss of Matthew to a drug overdose, in addition to my history of sexual assault. It wasn’t until that moment that I realized that the reason I was pursuing this career was to be able to catch the people who distribute drugs like the ones that took Matthew’s life and horribly sick minded people like the individual that sexually assaulted me and put them behind bars. I realized that these awful experiences I had gone through could be used to positively impact the lives of others by working towards a goal of saving people from the horrors I had to experience.
I’ve been through a lot of trauma and I don’t want anyone else to suffer from the same experiences. I felt a calling towards a policing career where I can be front line protecting people from the horrors of losing loved ones to a drug overdose or fall victim to sexual assault. If I fail at protecting and they fall to the hands of these evils in our world, then I hope at least to be a positive support, knowing the pains that loved ones and victims go through. I can only hope that one day my knowledge with experiences will help ease trauma and grief that lingers on.
Josie, I applaud your courage and you compassionate heart. To want to save others from the devastation that you experienced speaks volumes of the young woman you are!