Last year we published an essay by Holly Kellner titled, “Why Having Conversations or Writing College Essays On Your Story of Loss Is Okay.” Since then we’ve gotten emails asking for tips on how to write your college essay on your loss or asking for comments/edits on drafts themselves.
While we’re happy to help edit as many college essay drafts as we possibly can, we also want to make sure that all the information you need is in one place. Over the next few weeks we’ll be publishing content that’s directly related to the college application process — including the essay, financial aid and any other resources that will help make this process easier.
For starters here are some tips to keep in mind when working on your first outline or draft for your college essay:
Stay True To Your Story
The biggest advantage at your disposal when writing an essay about your loss is that you’re the only one who has ever experienced your specific kind of loss. (Trust me: this is an advantage) Even if you have siblings who all lost the same parent or sibling, you’re the only one who has lost your specific relationship. Stay true to how the loss impacted you.
Always Go Back To You
You want to make sure that you’re telling the story of who you are, this is what admissions officers want to read. Think of it this way, you’re encouraging someone to read an essay that’s told through the lens of a loss but that looks directly at who you are because of it.
Be Detailed
Instead of speaking in generalizations about what grief or loss mean to you, tell us specific stories about how what you’ve experienced is specific to you.
The Bad Days Count Too
Not all stories of loss or grief go back to incredible epiphanies. Not all stories of loss or grief are uphill stories either. Lots of experiences go back to hitting a specific kind of rock bottom and building your way back from that. Your stories are hard and real, don’t be afraid to show the imperfect pieces too, they add character to your story.
Don’t Be AshamedÂ
Don’t let anyone tell you that this is a cliche essay topic to write about. It’s not. It’s 100% not. Your story of loss is unique and probably the most life changing thing you’ve experienced. It’s helped turn you into the person you are today and it’s a story worth telling.
If you have any questions regarding the college essay writing process, feel free to email us at write@toodamnyoung.com (Subject: College Essay) or tweet us your questions, @2DamnYoung.
If you have any other tips you’d like to add, comment down below!
Vivian, I just want to thank you so much for posting this. My son is 17 years old, a senior in high school and looking at colleges. We lost his father when he was 10 years old. He had a heart attack, it was sudden and so unexpected that our lives changed in an instant. This information will be very helpful in writing an essay, hoping for some type of scholarship. Although it seems that most scholarships for children with a deceased parent are only if the parent was in the military, died on 9/11, had cancer, was a police officer, was a firefighter, etc. My son has done a great job in school, taking some honor classes and keeping his grades up, along with working part time and playing baseball for our town. I really want him to be able to go to the college of his choice, and would never want to hold him back because of my financial difficulties. Just wanted to say thanks again, this is very helpful. If you know of any scholarships that he may be eligible for, please reach out to me. Thanks. Julie jule1267@comcast.net
Vivian, these tips are really insightful. It seems like a great way to ensure that people see the reason behind your writing. Something I’ve heard that helps a lot of people is having your paper read by other people and getting their opinions.