Netflix is always there when I need it. I think it might be a strong enough force in my life to be labeled a “constant.”
Recently, I watched the entire first season of Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt. In following with the silliness of 30 Rock, Kimmy proves just how tough a girl can be regardless of her situation. The show is pretty great and uplifting all the way around, but there is one episode in particular that seems to have stuck with me. In the episode, Kimmy convinces her friends that they can do anything for 10 seconds.
It’s a small tidbit of advice, but Kimmy is right. You can do ANYTHING for ten seconds. And then you can do it again for another ten. Over and over again until whatever is painful is less painful. For most of you reading this, the painful thing that you’re thinking about is the loss of a loved one.
Right after you first lose someone, it is tough to see past the end of the day. Then as time goes on, there is this battle between thinking like you should be over the loss, but not really feeling like you are. Sometimes, it’s so bad that there are days when it’s even hard to muster up the energy to leave the house, so you build a safe space around yourself.
I call it the hole.
I’ve perfected my hole. It contains a huge candle, lots of pillows, delivery food (to be eaten in bed), some Grey’s Anatomy or Gilmore Girls, and a dog. I love my hole. It’s so comfy and warm and inviting. However, I have found that the days I need the hole, are the days that I can’t have the hole. Work or family obligations stop me from sinking in. Friends want me to go out with them. There is always something that keeps me from burrowing into my bed. So for those days, I channel my inner Kimmy.
Ten seconds at a time is how I make it through. (Full disclosure: I change it to an hour at a time because I like saying that I only have 9 more hours to go until I can get in the hole.) Let’s be honest though the pain of losing a loved one never really goes away completely, but chances are it isn’t as painful as those first few days without them were.
So, you’ve got this. Ten seconds or one hour at a time. You can do it. You’re just as unbreakable as Kimmy.
— Kimmy Schmidt (@TheKimmySchmidt) March 9, 2015