I think it’s extremely important to take the time to thank those around you for being there for you through your time of loss.
Personally, I was an absolute mess as soon as I lost Matt. I was hard to deal with and the anxiety, depression, and emotional stress that took over my day-to-day life didn’t make it any easier on anyone. These are things that I still have to deal with today and they always remind me to be thankful for people.
I’m amazed and so thankful for everyone who put up with me and gave me their full support and love then and now.
For those who I got closer to, those who stuck around, and those who I, unfortunately, became distant from — thank you. Thank you for being there for me when I needed it the most.
I want to reach out first to thank my family. My parents shared my grief and loss, supported me, and were always there to give a hug when it was needed — which turns out was a lot of the time. Thank you to my brother who put up with me constantly wanting someone to hang out with and watch movies with. Thank you for being the person who could always cheer me up.
Thank you to the friends who’ve allowed me to pull them a little closer. You all played an important role in helping me heal and shaping me into the person I am today. I know that it would have been close to impossible to get through everything without all of your support.
To those friends who have drifted away — I’m sorry my grief and loss were too much to handle at times and that this caused you to leave, but I still owe you a huge thank you. Thank you for being there for me when you were. Each and every person who went above and beyond to help bring a smile to my face and cheer me up, a thousand thank yous to all of you.
The list of people I have to thank is long and that in and of itself is something I’m thankful for. I’ve taken the time to reach out personally and send each of them a personal thank you for helping me out and simply being there.
The one person I’d like to take the time to thank is someone who has no idea I even exist, and because of this has no idea how much she’s helped me in dealing with my grief, loneliness and ultimately just inspiring me to just be who I am.
Ingrid Nilsen has been such a huge inspiration and one of my biggest role models.
I first discovered YouTube when I was going through a time in my life in which I was being extremely bullied. I would spend lots of time by myself and I liked watching videos online; it gave me a sense of having someone be there for me, even when no one else actually was. I was comforted by it all.
I found Ingrid’s YouTube channel four years ago and it was the best thing I could have ever come across. Watching her videos, especially after I lost Matt, helped bring a smile to my face again. The videos helped me feel better at a time when not much else could.
Ingrid makes videos that resonate — there are as many videos about beauty and makeup as there are about her talking about the tough things in life. She’s unafraid to talk about the things that most people sweep under the rug because they’re too embarrassed or scared to approach.
To me, Ingrid is so beautiful, inside and out. She’s quirky and hilarious. She’s kind and understanding. Her videos show how lovable and genuine she must be in real life. She’s a friend.
It’s because of her that I’ve found the courage to be my true self, without worrying about what others may think of me. It’s because of her that I had videos and smiles to look forward to during a time when all I felt was utter loss and sadness. I know I’m not alone when I say that she is how I found out about Too Damn Young, through her video where she talks about her personal loss.
I hope that one day I get the chance to say thank you to her in person.
For now, I’ll write a thank you note here:
You are so strong and brave. I am extremely proud of you for having the courage to talk about your loss publicly and know that by doing so you definitely encourage others to do the same. I’m so thankful you posted that video about your loss and Too Damn Young. Having a platform to write about my loss has lifted a weight off my chest and I’ve connected with some amazing people because of it. I love having a place to write down everything I’m living through and to be able to share my experiences with others makes me feel better and less alone. I am so thankful for all your videos and I respect and appreciate you so much as a person. Even though you don’t know who I am, thank you. Thank you for being there for me when I was going through all the trials and hard times in my life so far, and thank you for always bringing a smile to my face.